Be Still- The Water

Do you have the patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself? Lao-tzu, "Tao Te Ching"

The right action.  The right decision.  Can I be still long enough to hear it or see it?  It seems right now in these busy last days of summer I can't do it.  I don't even have time to get to the water.   The choices and must do's are coming so fast that I can't take time to see how the pieces will all fit together.  It seems the decisions must be made right now.  And the decisions not being made "right now" are weighing heavy on me.  This week, my goal is to get to the water.  I need a moment by myself to pray first and then plan.  My praying and planning having been mixed up recently.  I have been planning and then praying it works out.  I need to settle by the water and wait for the right action to come through prayer and then plan.  

Dear Lord, please help me to sit by your 

calm waters and pray this week.  Help me to remain quiet and 

unmoving until the action you put in 

my heart speaks to me.  Amen

I'm linking up with One Nutty Girl and working hard at being still!

Be Still- My summer

I'm linking up with One Nutty Girl and working on being still!

Where has my summer gone?  Where are those lazy days of playing outside that I was dreaming of?  This summer has taken off like a jet plane and is showing no sign of slowing down.  I just feel overwhelmed.  The calendar is not being helpful.  I feel blessed that we are continuing to incorporate family night into our lives.  I am beginning to realize what a commitment this is.

So from this day forward I'm going to work on clearing the calendar.  What on the calendar is not necessary?  What is not growing our family together?

I know I also need to change my attitude.  I look at something and it can consume my mind even if it's only a small part of the day.  I have a habit of looking at something, like a doctors appointment, and not being able to see the before and after.  Then I let the calm and stillness of the day be overtaken by one activity that is only an hour or so long!  I find myself not able to play or function outside of getting to that appointment and getting home.

The easiest way to change my attitude is to begin my day in prayer.  The simple prayer of "Lord, guide my steps and my day".  Recently I have been praying this over and over.  As I lay the boys down for a nap I pray "Lord, guide my next steps".  I can easily get that overwhelmed feeling as I look at the long list and realize nap time might only last an hour.  If it is meant to get done, the Lord will guide my steps.  If I don't get to it, maybe it wasn't as important as enjoying a summer day with my kids.  So to remain still, I must remain in prayer.

Lord, guide my steps and my day.

Be Still- My quiet space

I'm linking up with One Nutty Girl!

My husband is blessed to serve not one, but two congregations.  Both are wonderful places and we love each of them for what they are.  The nice thing is they are each a little different so it is hard to compare them.  One worships twice if not 3 times as many people on a Sunday.  It has a Sunday School program and a few more programs going on.  The other is this place...

My beautiful quiet place.  I love each church for the ways in which they grow my faith.  This church just happens to grow my faith in its quiet, solid, never changing ways.  It was started in 1867 and the original log cabin stands less than a half a mile down the road.  This building was built in 1904.  It is "our" history.  Or at least we feel so blessed to be a part of this history.  A few of the oldest residents of the county are buried to the right of the church.  It is a rock!  

It is also my quiet place.  A place where I feel I can truly worship.  My son is a little bit better behaved (maybe it's because I have help from our high school baby-sitter who attends there).  I can focus on singing and listening a little more.  My husband's office is not there so I am not anxious about what is going on behind the scenes.  No one asks me about Sunday School stuff (I do truly love the Sunday School stuff, but everybody needs to be still sometimes).  I don't feel I have to do anything because all we do there is worship.  (We serve others too, just in a different way than the church in town.)

It is a refreshing change.  I love both churches for who they are and how they serve but sometimes I need this quiet place.  I am both an extrovert and introvert and it is so nice that each of these churches allow me to be myself.  Yesterday we sat with the windows open singing "Come Thou Font" one of my favorite hymns.  As I looked at the windows I had to be still, because all I could see out every window was the green leaves on the trees.  All I could see inside was my sleeping baby, my active toddler, and people who were there to worship.

Stillness!

Monday I talked about being still in my expectations.  I put high expectations on myself, my kids, and my hubby and it just needs to stop.  My hubby and I talked about how I expect so much from myself in the mothering department.  He reminded me that I needed to cut myself some slack also.  I can say I am a good mom to my kids.  (A great mom!)  I just get down so easily when I yell or we watch a lot of TV or I can't get it all done or I feel like I don't play enough with them.  The list could go on and on.

So today, my hubby was gone all day.  (He left the house at 4:00am and is not back yet- it's 10:30pm).  I prayed all day that I would not put high expectations on myself today.  I couldn't get it all done and I needed to not fall apart.  I prayed for patience, for a guiding hand for the next step of our day.  I prayed that my kids would nap and that they would have fun with me.  Guess what?  I laid those high expectations of being a mommy aside and we had a great day.  The boys napped (at least for a little bit), we played, we didn't watch much TV, and we even made it to the park.  I packed us a picnic and we had so much fun.  I just feel really proud of myself tonight!  It was a great day for our whole family!

Be Still- My expectations

I need to be still in my expectations.  I expect so much from myself, my husband, my kids, my family, my church, my friends.  These expectations are just not healthy for me or my relationships.  Why do I think I can be the perfect mom with the perfect house and perfect children?  Why do I think my hubby can read my mind and do what I need before I ask?  What is it that makes me think my toddler can handle so much?  Should everyone at church really have the same passion as me?  And my poor friends and family, should they be expected to give more than receive?  NO!

I thought about this a lot yesterday as we were driving to my in-laws.  I was being still and crocheting along as my hubby drove down the interstate.  I started crying as I thought of how much I had expected of my son the day before.  We had discussed getting out our big electric train if he was good for the morning.  Well, we told him before church and then expected a 2.5 year old (with a fairly new baby brother in the mix) to sit through church, behave at lunch, and then nap before we actually rewarded him.  He is too young to understand those types of rewards.  I was in tears.  I expected to much of my little man.  He is such a good kid.  I then put a lot of pressure and expectation on myself to right the wrong and remind myself to be perfect as a mother.  Well enough is enough.  The expectations need to be still.  I need to focus on giving to my friends and family, cutting myself, my hubby and my son some slack and just living joyfully still  in my life!

Linking up with One Nutty Girl!

Be Still- My body

Why are the things that sometimes help you to be still also the ones that can cause you to physically be still?  I am still today.  I am really still because it seems these “old lady” knees are having trouble picking up the running thing again.  I love to run or at least I enjoy it.  I am also the high school cross country coach and I need to be in shape by late August.  I was anxious to get running and felt I was making progress.  Now progress in the running department has stopped.  My knees are in intense pain.  I tried to run through it but it seems the pain keeps following me. 

Running is one of those things that can cause my mind to be still in an odd sort of way.  It gives me time to sort all of my thoughts and weed out the things that I don’t need to think about.  That helps me to be still and be in the moment when I get back.  This week though instead of stilling my mind, running has stilled my body.  Monday seems a little more overwhelming without a quick run. 

I'm linking up with One Nutty Girl today and being still! 

Be Still- For my boy

Today I had to be still. My poor baby has a bad tummy ache. He has been crying and I am not able to soothe him. Finally after he calmed down we were able to be still.

I was able to just sit and rock him while his brother played on the floor in the playroom. I turned on the cd player and I rocked and rocked. Martin played quietly while I watched him. It was neat to see him talking to his toys and imagining. I am assuming that because I didn't have the computer or some other agenda (like washing the gross windows in that room) that he was okay with me just sitting. He didn't beg me to play or pay attention to him. He just played and I sat and watched. I have no idea how long we played before I finally laid the baby down and started on lunch, but it was a good time. I hope my baby feels better soon.

I'm linking up with One Nutty Girl for Be Still Mondays!

Be Still- My Stuff

My life feels cluttered.  I have so much going on in my brain, with my family, and just sitting around my house.  I hate clutter and it seems to be invading my space recently.  I have trouble being still because everything around me is so "busy".  My calendar is so full of summer activities and church things that I can't find a day to just be.  My list is so cluttered with things I "need" to buy and "urgent" tasks that need to be done.  My home is cluttered with gifts that need to be put away and trinkets I just can't part with.

Maybe being still for me, means doing something.  I need to part with the clutter.   Clean up the calendar so we can spend time as a family.  Clean up the clutter in the house so that I can take a deep breath and appreciate the beautiful things I have.  Prioritize my list so that I can honestly know what is a "need" and what tasks I truly must to accomplish that aren't just "urgent", but necessary.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Dear God, help me create a clean heart for you.  Help me to get rid of the clutter that causes me to feel so far from you; the busy calendars, the lists a mile long, the tasks that seems so urgent, and the sin that leaves no room for you in my heart.  Renew in my heart a right spirit so that I may hear your voice speaking to me.  Amen.  

Be Still- Our family.

Wow.  What a crazy last couple of weeks.  We have traveled and had visitors all while trying to figure out what it means to be a family of four.  We have needed to "be still" in our family.  My hubby mentioned one evening while on the way home from another event that we had to attend, that we needed to spend time as a family.  We were just doing the whole divide and conquer thing in our house.  We are both to blame.  We have lots to do (not all of it a priority, but we are working on that too) and so we will divide the boys up and get it done.  Hubby will take the older one to run errands or to do different things and I will keep the little one and get housework done.  If hubby comes home and both boys are hanging out, I will not even think twice about heading to the laundry room or the chore list to see what needs to be done.  The divide and conquer thing is only good for so long and pretty soon we need to "be still" in our family.

So, we are making an effort.  This morning hubby took the older one to make visits and run errands.  We are both expecting that this evening before hubby leaves for a meeting, that we will spend time as a family.  Either on the floor playing (me not folding laundry) or at the playground just hanging out.  Chores, phone calls, cleaning, thank you notes, and laundry can all wait.  As I have said before, my kids will not wait and they will grow up.  This is my time to be still.

I have to admit I keep thinking to myself "if I could just get everything done" then I would be able to be still in all of these areas I have talked about before.  That's not true and it's a lie I'm living if I keep thinking about it that way.  I posted here that they paint the Golden Gate Bridge everyday.  EVERYDAY.  It is never done.  Once they get to one side, they start over.  That's housekeeping I need to say to myself.  Once I clean the playroom, it will get dirty and unorganized.  Isn't that the point?  For my son to play in it?

Last week cafeAngelica posted about Mary & Martha.  It was a wake up call to me.  I have read the book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World many times.  I know that I am a Martha.  I know that I need to find a balance.  Being a Martha isn't a bad thing, but it's making sure that I am a Mary in my life too.  So I have set out to find my "Mary"- in my family and in my spiritual life  I will always be a Martha, but God can work to find the balance if I let myself be open and still to it.  To hold myself accountable a few blogging buddies and I will be reading the book and discussing it through my comment section or on their own blogs.  I'm anxious to finish the first chapter and sit down with my bible to meditate on the questions at the end of the chapter.  But before that, I'm going to spend some "still" time with my family!

Being still with One Nutty Girl for today!

Be Still- for prayer

Do you have the patience to wait

till your mud settles and the water is clear?

Can you remain unmoving

till the right action arises by itself?

Tao Te Ching

I need prayer and mostly time in prayer.  I need to find the stillness that comes with prayer.  Right now, I am waiting for the mud to settle and the water to clear.  Again, I am struggling with the same problem I did this fall.  The decision time has come and I can't be still enough to figure it out.  I hear one thing from my hubby, a different from my parents, my gut changes daily, and somewhere in there is a small tiny voice that I know is speaking to me.  God is speaking to me.  God is moving and I am having trouble listening.  The problem is not that God needs to speak louder, it's that I need to listen.  I need to prayer for the desire to sit quietly each day so that I can hear the Voice.  It's the desire to listen to the will of God.
linking up again with One Nutty Girl!

Be Still- My mouth

We have been studying the book of James this year with my bible study group.  Just recently we have been talking about our mouths.  What kind of words are coming out of my mouth?  More than likely I just need to "be still" and that means my mouth.  Less is more when it comes to the mouth.  The words I speak need to be thought out and kind.  I need to be still- both with my mouth and in my quiet time.  Because in my quiet time I will hear what needs to be said.

So what does this look like in my life?  How about not overwhelming my hubby the minute he walks in with all of the things I have wanted to say all day.  I can write those down and we can talk about it after he hugs and plays with our kids. Same thing with his work.  I need to just be still and not ask him a hundred questions about what he did today until he's ready to tell me.  I am also terrible at "gently" reminding him of the things he needs to do.  He is an adult and I'm know he probably will remember to do them without me reminding him.   I am pretty sure he would agree with me on this.

I know with my kids they would appreciate my stillness.  My son is just learning to imagine, I need to let him work on those skills without telling him how a game or playtime should go.  Also, does he need to be perfect?  No.  Right now I am watching him play in the sink and get water all over the rug and the window.  Guess what Mama, just be still.  The rug is washable so I know it will dry and the window will just take a swipe with the rag to get cleaned.  He is working so hard at playing.  He called me over to show me the bubbles and how he can poor them from one cup to another.  He's working on developmental skills and doesn't need me harping at him about keeping the water in the sink.

So now, I will be still and see what my son is thinking while he is spilling water all over the floor.  Because, in my stillness I am preaching and showing the gospel to many, including my son!

Preach the gospel at all times; 

if necessary, use words.  

Be Still

(I am linking up with One Nutty Girl-you can click on the link above for more)


I didn't know what to write about being still.  I don't know how to be still at this point in my faith and life journey.  I am trying and am very aware of my inability to practice my stillness right now.  It is a practice but, with a new baby, a toddler, and a life full of activities and a house that is never clean, I just can't stop.  I need to be still in my life.  I need to be still with my sons.  One of my goals this year is more focused play time with my older son.  I admit, I am not good at playing with him.  I am a stay at home mom that can't stop doing the other things that come with mothering. I am constantly telling him "I will play with you right after I do (insert activity/chore/computer thing here).  It is not fair to him.  In the movement of my life I am forgetting the priority.  It is to be still.  Why?  Because my sons are not. They are growing and learning everyday and I need to be still with them so I don't miss anything.