Friendship

I've mentioned before that I'm a "romantic vacationer".  I think about coming home and doing things differently or having a different outlook etc.  I suppose that's what vacation could be about.  It's a recharge to get you going again.  It seems that it just never works out exactly like I imagine.  I come home and there are still dishes and laundry and the house is exactly as I left it (usually messy).   It always causes me a little disappointment.

I think I do the same with friends.  I'm a "romantic friendship believer" or something like that.  I blame it mostly on my love for reading fiction books.  Right now I'm in the middle of reading the Elm Creek Quilts Series.  We've all probably read a book and watched a friendship develop and either compare it to something we have or lack in our own life.  The problem is the writing.  No matter how good, it only gives a glimpse into the life of the person.  This is understandable, there is not time in a book to develop a character exactly like a person. So many things form us into who we are.  The author, no matter how good, can't give each person justice.  So they develop the character into what they need them to be in the book.

This is where my romantic notion of friendship gets carried away.  You only meet those closest to the person.  I love to read a book where the characters all meet regularly and have these amazing (on paper) friendships.  For example, the quilters in the series I'm reading get together regularly and rarely miss meetings.  I love that romantic thought of friendship.  Nothing can keep them away from their friendship.  Does this make sense?

I struggle because of this idea.  I always put more stock in wanting to meet regularly instead of frequently.  I want people to have that same need as me.  What I forget is that the characters in the book are only showing me one ring of their friendship or lives.  That's the necessary evil of writing about friendship in books.  In the book Captivating the authors address this in our lives.  They mention that we have rings of friendships and acquaintances.  We stand in the middle surrounded by rings of very close friends, close friends, acquaintances, etc.  Even Jesus did it.  He had the 12 and even within them he had his special disciples.

So I guess what I'm realizing is that, in books, all we see are those first few rings in a character's friendships.  In my own life we are all dealing with multiple rings of friendships.  People move in and out of certain rings and our friendships are much more complicated than that.  It's expecting to have that one best friend and realizing it's much deeper than that.  We need all kinds of friends.

I still sometimes wish for that romantic view of friendship.  Coffee and crocheting or bible study every week with a small group of people.  Rarely would anything keep us from getting together.  The busyness of life would be washed away for a few hours each week.  Then, just like returning from a vacation, I close my book and know I am thankful for the wonderful friendships I have.  I need to celebrate them for what they are and the people in my life.