I feel it

I feel myself pushing when I should be standing.

Standing when I should be pulling back.

Pulling back when I should be pushing forward.

I feel change.  Sometimes I think I am hyper aware of change- mostly in myself.  I blame it on seminary. Nah- I can't blame it on seminary.  I feel really blessed to be able to see the change in myself and know that more is coming for the better.

So these changes I see and feel are going to be for the better.

I just need to stand patient and not push.  Certain situations have had me relying on change and learning to be patient.

Pulling back is hard.  I need to let myself go.  I can no longer stand in the middle of the messy living room and choose it over my kids.  I have to pull back on the expectations I put on myself.

I need to push forward.  The biggest change I see is how I use my time.  I need to push forward and remember time in the Word is not wasted.  Time in prayer is not wasted.  Time with my boys is not wasted.  I need to push forward and be a good steward during the few extra minutes I have to not just sit on the computer.

Here come the change.  I can feel it moving in me just like the wind outside.

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