Toxic

My mom took a trip to visit a cousin and attend a wedding a few weeks ago.  I asked how visiting with her cousin was.  She said it was nice.  She enjoyed the conversations with her cousin because she didn't talk about other people like her traveling companions did.  I asked what they talked about then.  She couldn't remember but she knew it was refreshing.  It got me thinking....what if we stopped talking about others.  What kind of refreshing conversations could we have?

I realize as close friends and women, naturally, we will talk about others.  I'm just wondering if in the closeness of some friends, we forget to filter.  We don't filter our thoughts like God would want us too.  Our words, even though spoken to good friends, can become toxic.  I don't need toxic in my life, yet I am the one who sometimes pours it out and other times I sit and listen and let it seep into my heart.

I spent most of my high school life swimming in toxic conversation.  I never wanted to miss any event for fear that someone would talk about me.  My motto was "if I"m there, they can't say anything bad about me".  I never wanted to give someone a chance to talk bad about me and the reason is because I knew we were talking about others who weren't there.  It was a vicious cycle and thankfully it stopped in college.

How do we overcome those toxic conversations?  The ones where we husband bash, bring up a friend's fault who isn't there or carry on gossip that we know isn't true (even if it's to say so).  I think it needs to be an awareness in our conversation. It needs to start in our heart.  It needs to be a pryer we say.  I want to speak what's on my mind, but I want to do it with the knowledge that Christ is on my heart and in my mind.

You bet I will bring up crazy things my husband does, but I want it to be a testament to my marriage and how we come out on the other end smiling.  I want to talk about my other friends, but I want to do it as a prayer and with genuine concern for them, not to gossip.  I want to stop pointing the finger at others when I know it's myself that has the problem.  How many times do we gossip or pick our faults in others when it truly is faults and low self esteem with in ourselves that needs work?

We, as mothers and parents and people in general do so much.  We are involved and busy as a culture.  If this is the case, how come we can't find other things to talk about that aren't meant to hurt others? Here are the things I want to talk about.

What God is doing in my life.

I'm involved in an amazing MOPS group and a wonderful bible study.  

What am I learning in these groups?  How is God speaking to me through

these people.  

Who I can pray for or people who are struggling.

I don't want to gossip about them.  I want the conversation to sound

more like a prayer for them.  I want it to be more proactive so I can 

possibly help them or pray for people to help them.

My family!

I want to talk about how wonderful my husband is.  I also want to talk about

how we have our disagreements and quarrels.  I just want those conversations

to end with how we got through it.  How we talked and came up with solutions.

Sure, my boys are crazy and naughty.  They aren't perfect and I can have that conversation.

I just want it to be proactive.  What can I do to discipline better

or fix a situation we are struggling with?  

There are so many more things to talk about, I just wonder why we don't do it.  I don't spend most of my days talking to other people.  How can I have so much to say about them?  I'm working on raising my kids, crocheting, craft projects, my new cleaning list, the Easter breakfast at church.  I'm working on seeing God in my life and catching up on my reading.  I have a lot more to talk about than the toxic things.  I just need to rid them from my conversations and I'm thinking be better off in the end!