Epiphany!

I had a small epiphany tonight.  Nothing earth shattering, but enough to make me feel good.  My dad is here for a little while this week.  We were talking serious stuff at dinner tonight (which is what probably caused us to let the Boppers spill his milk at the dinner table in the Chinese restaurant).  Anyway, we were talking about money and debt.  I'm sure a lot of people are in debt.  I know they are.  We are not any different. I'm not just talking student loans, but you know, that nasty credit card debt.  I admit, it was hard for us not to fall into debt while the hubby was in seminary.  It was a four year graduate program requiring a four year bachelors degree.  But, that didn't set us up very well to learn good spending habits in the first years of our marriage.

So, we're in debt.  My dad was talking about being in debt.  He also said he didn't regret a lot of the debt he was in.  He said money was tight, but he didn't regret taking us on vacation and spending holidays as a family.  How could he?  I still remember Thanksgiving in Kansas City, driving to Oregon in our tan mini van.  I remember the trip to Washington DC where my feet didn't touch the floor of our car because it was covered in books.  I thank my dad for taking on that debt.  We had a lot of fun as a family and the creditors never came knocking and the debt is gone.

Today I decided I'm not going to beat myself up paying those monthly payments.  Maybe I did make a lot of purchases that I regret, but the next time I make my monthly payment I'm not going to think of those.  I'm not going to punish myself and make myself feel bad.  Instead I'm going to think of

spending our 3rd anniversary exploring Michigan a few days before our son was born.  We loved our internship experience.

I will think of

The boppers and I spending a little extra at the grocery store to have our friends over for dinner!

I won't forget

buying the Boppers an orange shirt, having him named homecoming king (or monarch), and watching my hubby enjoy playing basketball with his seminary classmates.  

I won't forget flying to see my sister, shopping with new friends as a way to get to know each other, seeing movies with Rhonda, or taking my son to the state fair.  

Not every decision was a good one and I know that.  But not every decision was a terrible one either.  We are making better choices, but today I stop beating myself up for choices that have already happened.  I'm ready to remember the good times and the fun things we got to do because we were ready to enjoy life!