Patience

I have lost my patience.  Somewhere in the midst of my life with a toddler and my love for my lists I have lost my patience.  Where did it go?  Mostly I have lost my patience with my son.  It could be because we are busy and exhausted all at the same time.  He has finally started sleeping better (not all night though), but that doesn't get the lists done any faster.  I have lists for MOPs, my Motivated Moms cleaning schedule, church, craft projects, books to read etc.  You get it, I just love my lists!

My personality loves to cross things off my lists and so I write down everything.  I realize that this is probably part of my problem.  I lose my patience when I can't see the end of my list or think I need time to get it done. What will these lists accomplish though?  That's the question I've been asking myself.  Most of them don't have anything so important on them that it can't be forgotten.

In the book "Life of the Beloved" that I'm reading the author talks about how we read new books, go on retreats and conferences, and continually search for those things we think will open up our spiritual life.  The only problem is, we forget that we need to find our center.  That spot in our life where we can hear God speaking to us.  Where we can hear God say "You are my Beloved".  I can't hear that right now.  The lists are on continuous playback . In the end, completing these lists isn't going to help me hear that voice that says "You are loved just the way your are".

Where did my patience go?  It's probably lost in that same place that has been taken over by the things I think I need to do.  The same things that keep me from hearing the Voice that tells me I am "beloved".  Better start listening.