Martyr or Diva??

So we were asked this question at my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group this last week? What kind of mom are you? A martyr or a diva? I found it very interesting and have been pondering it for a while. The speaker said something along the lines of "Do you act like a martyr mom that spends all of her time telling people about all the things she does for her kids in a way that makes it seem like it's a chore. For example, 'I make all my own baby food from my own garden and I just don't have time for anything else' or 'I knit all my kids clothes because I don't want them wearing an unnatural fiber'." I'm not saying that people who do these types of things or say these types of things are acting as if they are a martyr for their children, it's all in the way you say them or if you are saying them just to get recognition for something or people to feel sorry for you.

On the other hand she asked if you were a diva mom. Are you a stay at home mom that spends more time finding baby-sitters so you can go out shopping than actually staying at home with your kids? Her point was, if you are trying to remain a healthy mother and individual you need to find a balance. Yes, we need to do things for our kids that we feel is necessary, like making their own baby food. We also need to find time to do things alone like going shopping. We just need to find the balance so that stay good mothers, but also true to ourselves and keeping up with being our own person. I'm not sure if this is making sense, but I took it to another level and thought about myself being a pastors spouse. Am I being a martyr or a diva? Hmmm? Do I do things at church just for the recognition and tell people all the time "I have to do this or that or I can't do that because I'm the P.S."? (I don't think I do...) Or do I not do anything, like a diva, saying "I'm going against the grain because I don't want too and I can't help because I shouldn't be expected too. " It's trying to find the balance because as a Pastors Spouse you are still a member of the congregation so you should feel a desire to help, but you also shouldn't feel that because you're the PS that you should be martyred because of it. I guess the more I think about it the more it applies to a lot of things in life. School, work, family, friends. Interesting...