Competition

I was that girl in junior high.  The one who tried hard, but wasn't good at volleyball or basketball.  The things my classmates were really good at.  The whisper of "she's just not competitive enough".  Little did they know that deep inside myself I was competitive.  Just with ME!  One of the few reasons I was good at the clarinet was because it seemed like a competition to me.  With my parents being the music teachers in our district, I knew I had to be one of the best.  I worked at that silly clarinet and got to be pretty good.  Hey, it paid for part of my tuition through college.  I was a 2 time state band participant.  I could compete.  Mostly with myself.  I ended up quitting basketball and volleyball and at the urging of my dad and the cross country coach, gave running a try my sophomore year.  And that girl who wasn't competitive showed everybody just how competitive she could be.  I ran cross country for 3 years, was a 3 time varsity letter winner, 3 time state qualifier with our team, and (maybe my mom can double check this for me) after 10 years is still in the top 25 girls fastest times for our cross country program.  I was competitive at running.  And so much more.

It's that competitive streak that tells me to run faster when I hear 2 guys at mile 3 of a half marathon say "wow, this is harder than I thought".  They will not be beating me.  It's what pushes me every time I lace up my asics to head out for a run.  I will be faster and feel better and be a better runner!

That competitive edge is what pushes me to find ways to be a better parent.  I will plan activities, I will put aside something so my kids can go to the park.  I will defend, teach, and stand up for my kid no matter what.  I will fight with my selfishness to put my kids first all day!

Sadly though, there is no competition in marriage.  None!  Not one part of it can be a competition.  I want it to be.  I hate being the one that gets up most nights if a child does.  It's not fair that I don't get to sleep in most mornings.  It just doesn't seem right that I have to take the kids with on all the errands.  Why do I have to pack the diaper bag every time we go somewhere or call the baby sitter?  Marriage might be easier if I could tally stuff up.  "Oh look honey, you haven't folded a load of laundry lately.  You're 4 loads behind me.  Here you go..."  or "Oh look sweetie, you went train watching and bought x amount of gas, I guess I get my pedicure".    That's just not the case.  Because while friendly competition is always fun, a marriage is not friendly competition.  It's being a team.  Remember "the two shall become one"?  Yeah, that's in the bible.  Sadly, "Keep score so it's all fair" isn't.  I'm not saying get walked all over or that there shouldn't be a balance.  I just always immediately go to "it's not fair or I've been doing it all".  We are on the same team.  And remember, in high school, when somebody sat the bench while you played the whole game?  Or while you sat the bench and only got in a for a minute or two?  You both got the t-shirts and both of your names were on the roster and that's they way it goes.

I'm not sure if there is an answer for this whole competition thing, but there it is.  There can't be a competition in marriage or even in friendship.  It won't draw you closer or make you feel better in the end.  It's something I'm still working on....

and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 

Mark 10:8