Lack of Discipline

I have a secret.  Somedays I really want to home school my kids.  I know that's it's not all glamourous like I think in my head.  I know that it requires discipline, mostly from me.  That's probably one of the reasons why know that it will not work for our family.

That's me.  I am someone with a lack of discipline.  I want to blame things on others, but it really boils down to my own ability to discipline myself.  I spend too much time on the computer, too little time with the boys, not enough time cleaning, eating all day long and plenty of time watching TV.

I would love to have the discipline to quick jump on the computer, check my stuff and get off.  But too soon I look at the time and it's been 30 minutes.  I enjoy baking but have no discipline to eat only one cookie instead of 10.  That makes it hard to enjoy doing.

I get frustrated that there is not enough time in the day to play with the boys, clean, do laundry, time in the Word, and time for myself.  This probably isn't true.  My lack of discipline causes me to waste precious time doing other things.

The same thing is true on the other end.  In trying to discipline myself I need to realize that things might not get done.  The laundry room is a mess.  (We tossed our suitcases in the back when people started showing up for parsonage clean up day).  I need to discipline myself to do a few things.  1.  Not freak out that its a mess.  2.  Prioritize my time so that I play with the boys (while not freaking out). 3.  Make it a priority when I have time to get it done.  (For example, not sitting down the minute they take a nap to check my email.)

So, while homeschooling may not be in our future, I can still teach my kids something while they're at home.  That still requires discipline on my part.  So I will hit "publish post" and walk away from the computer for a little bit!