Springtime!

What?  Am I crazy?  It is definitely  not spring in the great state of Minnesoooooota, but it is in the church.  The word "Lent" literally means "springtime".  Oh good, walking through the wilderness of Lent, with about 3 feet of snow on the ground and I'm suppose to be thinking "spring".  Well, I am!

Most of the time during Lent you hear people telling you what they are giving up.  Chocolate, pop, tv, facebook, some even fast.  My hubby joked yesterday that I was giving up being pregnant for Lent.  (Thank goodness).  My problem is, I just don't get anything out of that practice.  I hope those do participate in the "giving up of something" do it for the right reasons.

I just have trouble giving something up because Christ gave everything up, to give me everything.  Life.  Yes, I see how giving something up can help you grow closer to God and Christ and your relationship with them, but it really just makes me cranky.  I don't turn to prayer or the bible when I can't have a piece of chocolate.  I whine and complain.  Ahh, you get my point.  I'm not ready to give something up for Lent.

Instead, since Christ gave me everything so that I could actually live,I wonder what I could do to strengthen that relationship.  What can I give of myself?  Usually time comes to mind.  This year I wasn't sure what I could do.  Last year I tried to read through a book called "Bread & Wine, Readings for Lent & Easter".  I did pretty well.  Some things were a little over my head and deep, but I think I did it (until Easter came around that is).  This year I have started reading a small part of the book, but something else came to my mind.  The Psalms.

Ahh, the prayer book of the Bible.  The Psalms.  The book of the Bible that tells God the deepest parts of my heart.  The parts I can't even put into words, it does for me.  I have been in my own desert (see previous posts) and after studying Dietrich Bonhoeffer during my hubby's seminary journey, I know the Psalms can offer me those prayers that right now I just can't pray.

So, for Lent I am going to read some Psalms.  I'm not placing a big to do list or a larger goal about it.  (I am having a baby!)  I just want to continue a practice I started before Martin was even born.  I read a few Bonhoeffer books and in one of them he said he felt the practice of randomly choosing a Psalm and praying it for one week could really speak to you.  So maybe since Lent is only 40 days I won't read it for the whole week, but one Psalm for a few days and see how it and how God speak to me.  Maybe in my wilderness and my desert, God will speak to me and hear those prayers in the Psalm from the deepest part of my heart.  That part that I can't put into words.

In the book "Bread & Wine", the introduction says Lent is a time to ask God to really show us who we are.  I think by reading the Psalms and praying them as my prayer, God will show me something about myself.  Something that maybe I don't want to see or something that maybe I do want to see and have forgotten.

So I will walk for 40 days with the Psalms, knowing that "I am dust and to dust I shall return".